Florida is still leading the way when it comes to dumb criminals. Hasan Burke, a 20-year-old weed dealer from West Melbourne, Florida, tried to sell a woman named “Jen” some weed. But, unfortunately for him, he texted Det. Harvey Whitney III instead. If that isn’t a prototypical cop name, I don’t know what is. I would never trust a man named Harvey Whitney, that’s for sure.
The text from the weed dealer said: “Jen, let me know if you need any trees.” The cop states that he said to himself, “Well, this is interesting.” Quite interesting, indeed. Cops love generic, trite sayings like that. They reckon themselves a clever bunch. How many cops have you heard of being Rhodes Scholars? Exactly!
Mr. Small-Time-Weed-Dealer, aka Hasan Burke, asked the cop (who he thought was “Jen”) if he had wheels and a scale. The officer of the law didn’t have a scale, but you know he’s got wheels for days. The first rule of being a good weed dealer is: have your own scale.
Detective Whitney, a former narcotics officer, agreed to pay Burke $50 and the two men set up a meeting place. Burke was arrested on the spot and had 16 grams of weed on his person.
Burke paid bail and is awaiting trial on charges of selling drugs. Detective Whitney said: “They call it dope for a reason.” That’s original. Nobody’s ever heard that one before. Carrot Top better watch out, or this cop is going to put him out of business with clever jokes like that.